Posted by
peripheral on Thursday, August 27, 2009 8:03:59 AM
From My Perspective - - -
Feeling abandoned to the inevitable is the plight of many. People find
themselves in impossible situations and feel they are both trapped and
helpless in their circumstance. All motivation to go on seems lost;
hopes have faded; the will to be and to do has dissipated; the personal
spirit has been broken or crushed; one seems suspended in time and
space – uncared for and abandoned to unwanted and harsh realities. One
tries to smile in spite of adversity but the pain of a broken heart
prevents the brightness of that smile. What is one to do? How can one
escape such complicated circumstances? How did one ever arrive at this
point? It is like being on an endless treadmill or traveling on a
bridge that goes nowhere – except for the further affliction, anguish
and pain.
The above can describe all too many lives and marriages. It is a sad
case and event of being abandoned to a very difficult context for one’s
life. What is Abandonment? What does it look like? How did it occur? A
frequent place where Abandonment is observed is in certain Marriages.
The definition of Abandonment is: “to leave completely and finally,
forsake utterly, desert; to give up, discontinue, withdraw from…”
Synonyms are: Abandon, relinquish, renounce, to give up all concern in
something; to give up or discontinue any further interest in
something/someone because of discouragement, weariness, distaste, or
the like…”
Abandonment can occur in several areas – individually, as a family
unit, or a particular group (such as military units being taken as
Prisoner of War). It impacts and crosses several areas of one’s being -
Emotional; Physical; Financial; Fiduciary; etc. EMOTIONAL: Where a
spouse no longer maintains a viable relationship with another or having
any concern for another's feelings, needs, worth; PHYSICAL: where a
spouse no longer maintains a viable interpersonal relationship, or is
just not present to demonstrate any responsibility or care; or being
harsh and cruel – abusive; FINANCIAL: where a spouse no longer provides
for the upkeep of another; a family; a property; relationships; a total
disregard for everyone and everything except self (narcissism run
amuck); and FIDUCIARY: where a spouse ignores mortgage responsibilities
(as a person to whom property or power is entrusted for the benefit of
another) and other legal obligations are neglected – this is the DNA of
the one who abandons and who has disregarded all duty, responsibility
and trust. In a marriage and family situation, this can imperil the
ones a spouse had vowed loyalty to and oneness with in a forever
relationship (until death us do part). However, one is deserted and
abandoned – left with hopelessness and despair – on a bridge to nowhere.
The Bible states how the irresponsible and/or abusive spouse is viewed
from a heavenly perspective: (I Timothy 5:7-8 – NLT): “But those who
won't care for their own relatives, especially those living in the same
household, have denied what we believe. Such people are worse than
unbelievers.” And the same verses in The Message: Tell these things to
the people so that they will do the right thing in their extended
family. Anyone who neglects to care for family members in need
repudiates the faith. That's worse than refusing to believe in the
first place.” That being said, what about the abandoned and/or abused
person and family?
The Bible speaks of those who found themselves abandoned - trapped with
no where to go – Jonah in the whale; Elijah as he fled from the threats
of Jezebel; Job when he lost all of his family and possessions; Israel
when they disobeyed God and chose idols instead. For these, and others,
there was a reality check - their abandonment would end through
deliverance by the Lord’s hand. A word of encouragement for the weary,
oppressed, abandoned is Isaiah 42:5-6, “This is what God the Lord
says-- He who created the heavens and stretched them out, who spread
out the earth and all that comes out of it, who gives breath to its
people, and life to those who walk on it: I, the Lord, have called you
in righteousness; I will take hold of your hand. I will keep you…” He
will take you from The Bridge To Nowhere and place you on a road to
somewhere – He will hold on to you and never let you go! He will lead
you safely from where you are to a place that is right and good for
you! Enjoy being in His grip! Consider these things with me!